The Bright Hour, A Memoir About Living and Dying by Nina
Riggs is a tough book to write about.
There are two major reasons why this book did not elicit the
same reaction in me as when I read, When
Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalathani. While both authors are writing
knowing that unless there is a miracle with their illnesses they are going to
die, The Bright Hour did not grab my heart like When Breath Becomes Air
did.
I preferred Kalathani’s writing style and voice much more,
and because he wrote so eloquently about becoming a doctor, and being sick with
the knowledge and insight of a medical professional, it made me think so much
about my DAD. The second reason,
Kalathani focuses more of his memoir on the valiant and honest anguish of
dying. He wrote his memoir in a much
more compact timeframe, 3 or 4 months before he died. I cried much of the time I read book, the
account of his experience made me sad. When I read the book I could appreciate
his brilliance and the wonderful, kind, passionate man that he was, in addition
to being a son, father, husband, and soon a practicing neurological surgeon.
The Bright Hour was
more about living with cancer. Nina Riggs wrote the content of her book over a 2 year period. The first 2/3 of the
book, Nina Riggs writes about everyday life, casually, almost like I was
reading daily posts from her blog. I
did some research and confirmed the book did start as a blog and evolved into
the book project. Don’t get me wrong, it is an amazing accomplishment to write
a book, to get a book published and especially if the book is about dying. If you read both books, I would be interested
in your review of them.
Because the author, Riggs, is the great great great
granddaughter of Ralph Waldo Emerson, there are many quotes and references to
her relation with RWE and how this family ancestor influenced and informed her
life. While some of the references and
quotes from Emerson make sense, I think there was too much use of the
reference. She also does this with quotes and references to French philosopher, Montaigne. The references and passages
at times seemed forced, like fancy accent wallpaper in a house that has bright
colored walls.
What was gripping in the Riggs memoir, her detailed account
of having to deal with her Mother’s death from cancer. She details how her Mom’s illness and decline
affects her and her family, her DAD. She
is in essence a student of death and dying, the book is about the author's Mom
living and dying with cancer and also Nina, living and dying with cancer.
Nina had a horrific illness, metastatic triple negative
breast cancer for two years. And she was so young, she died at age 39. Her cancer
was aggressive, delinquent, it spread from the breast to her spine to her lungs
to her bones, it was awful. As a reader you get a very detailed account of the
medical process, procedures, tests, check ups, her relationships with doctors
and with other people she knows who also have cancer. She had a mastectomy, she
had radiation, chemo, she even participated in a clinical trial, the cancer was
not abated, her battle was fierce.
Towards the end of the book Nina goes to a retreat to focus
on her writing, the retreat location happens to be at a convent, and in this
part of the book she shares her acknowledgement that she is dying, that she is
going to be gone from this world and that she is leaving her amazing boys, Benny
and Freddy. And her wonderful husband, John Duberstein. This part of the book made me cry. The anguish is in every word.
The afterword written by her husband is
eloquent and moving. He loved her dearly and he did everything he could to help
her with all facets of her illness, the practical, the emotional, the medical, the
privacy, the craziness, the planning, the up and the downs.
They also did wonderful family things, taking their boys to Disneyland
two months before she dies. She also surprises her husband with tickets to Paris,
they have a wonderful time in a city they both love and had lived in when they
were young.
It is uncanny, you can visit Nina’s blog today, and her
husband John, has written several posts after her death. He is a very good writer himself. And the story continues in that John, Nina's widow, and Lucy, Paul Kalathani''s widow, are making a life together with their 3 children.
Regardless of my preference one book over the other, if you
have any interest in reading, I recommend both.
It’s not often that you accept an invitation to be side by side with
someone who is dying. What stays with me after reading each experience is that
regardless of the universal truth that we are all mortal, everyone has a
different story.
