Nov 18, 2015

What I would say ?

After writing my post yesterday contemplating what I would share with my Grandmother Arosemena if I could visit her at her finca in Linda Vista, the imaginary conversation with her kept coming back to my mind. 

What would I say ? 

What would I share ? 

What would I tell her about how the world is different today ? 

She was certainly on my mind during my afternoon visit to the mall. Today we had 2 - 4 inches of rain in the forecast, I went to the mall for an hour and walked around.  And I walked and walked and walked. 

I observed people, stores, gatherings of people, ladies with strollers. 

I listened to many different languages, I scouted the entrances, the exits, I tried to count who was carrying a large bag or backpack, how many I could spot. 

It was surreal. 

I did not plan on doing this, my mind went there.  I'm a Girl Scout at heart, a planner, I love details and I don't like surprises.  My mind is wired for observation and planning and contingencies. It's always been this way. 

For about 5 minutes I sat in an open area where they have comfortable chairs and sofas. I closed my eyes.  I listened for voices, sounds, what I could make out and what was confusing or not familiar.  Many people were doing FaceTime type conversations on their phones, I spotted about 5 or 6 people doing this and  wondered if this was strange or maybe I'd not been to the mall in a long time. 

And yes there were many ladies attired with fancy, sassy boots, certainly part of a cold and rainy day outfit.  I was dressed for walking, Nike walking shoes and black sweats. 

I certainly wasn't fearful. 

Maybe it's the 2nd set of eyes in my brain that were on heightened visual alert. 

The same set of eyes that sees and imagines and writes poems. I did ask myself a few times, what about this afternoon could be in a poem ? What about this very grey and exaggerated view finder excursion through Perimeter Mall could be captured in verse ?

I'm an emotional person. Not crazy hysterical emotional. I'm emotional in thinking, analyzing, considering, feeling.  I love the connection and discovery of life and all the good it can be and offer.  I love humanity, the goodness and power in kindness, care, compassion and love. 

Unimaginable evil is part of our lives in a way it wasn't before. 

A potential woven in the daily fabric of what can be, what can happen and it makes me sad. Perhaps my behavior at the mall was a manifestation, a feeble attempt at trying to understand, to be prepared, to know, to acknowledge this. 

I'm not sure what I would share with my Grandmother. 

And when this afternoon's mall poem comes to life, I'll be sure to post.