Dec 16, 2013

The Volume of Silence

Yesterday I woke up at 3am. Today I woke up at 1am. It will take me a few days to get back on the Atlanta time. Until then I will try to sleep later and not take naps during the day.

Today when I woke up I immediately wanted to know about Lilian, she was on my mind. I was able to call her about 11am her time, she sounded good, her voice was strong. I had confirmation a few hours later that the chest tube is scheduled to be removed from her right lung tomorrow.

Kwame will be at the hospital to help with whatever needs to happen and hopefully get her discharged and take her home. Lilian's sister, Belinda, continues to be with her, spending the night at the hospital. She sleeps in the same room on a large piece of cardboard right under Lilian's bed. Some mother's sleep in chairs next to the beds, some bring mats and roll them out on the floor. Belinda did tell me that after about 9pm it is very quiet in the entire ward, with the exception when a baby is crying.

Today I had to do 2 loads of laundry at a friend's home, the new washer and dryer wont be here for a few days. I have to finish putting things away, mail the sponsor letters, mail some items to Renee and her Mom, Barbara in Goose Lake, Iowa, and get ready for Toby's visit. Toby is coming WED, it will be nice to have him in Atlanta for a few days. He is stopping over on his way to Panama.

Maddie and Morgan have been loves, loves, loves. They have both been with me most of the time wherever I am in the house. Right now they are both taking naps on their big pillows in the living room. Morgan is happy to have someone to play ball with throughout the day. Maddie is happy that she can watch over me, she is always watching out for everyone.

The quiet that I missed so much has been loud. Today when I was trying to take a nap around 12:30pm, I noticed how very silent it was. In my head I could hear the sounds of Godsway running outside my window in the Kissemah compound, or the sounds of roosters or the goats, or the KG1 class reciting their three letter words, B O Y, Boy, C, A, T, Cat, D, O, G, Dog. I love quiet time - I've always needed time to slow down and be silent and it has been interesting to hear the silence these past two days. It is so quiet, it is loud.

I am also trying to not get in the "I need to be busy doing something mode", I am tired. I have a few days of tired in me and I simply need to go slow and then be OK with doing nothing. It is hard for me, but I am going to try very hard to have a few days of quiet time with little or no "to do" items.

I still thinking about not having to go to work, it will take a few weeks for it to really sink that that I am not going back to work at Cox. I am sure at some point in the near future I will get nervous or anxious, having not having a paycheck, at the end of the day I know all things will work out. I am ready to make the necessary adjustments along the way.

By WED the afternoon high will be in the mid 60*'s. I am looking forward to the semblance of warmth. I've been in long sleeve t-shirts and sweat shirts with a beanie cap on and socks since I got home.